Reconciliation....The First Step Is Often The Hardest

How does one go about reconciling with ones past? Or get back in touch with lost family or friends? Lately the latter has been a buzz in my mind, Family. As some know but many don't I have a sister whom I have not spoken with in it must be about seven years or more now. We live in different states now and with people asking about her has starting the cogs in my head. Should I try to get back in touch with her after so many years? What would I even say, there is no easy answer to that at least not an easy one I can find. The more I think about this the more it bugs me, Its gets to me more when I see sibling interact with one and other. Sure growing up we had our issues with each other who didn't when your growing up. Does time heal all wounds like some would have you believe? I know my Dad is not excited that I am thinking of writing her to reconnect and that's fine, they have their own stuff to work out. Its weird though I keep saying to myself "just write her and say hi and get the ball rolling" But it seems to be all talk at this point I have yet to take any actual action in this matter. Am I afraid she wont want to be brother and sister again I don't know, But it feels like something some force is holding me back from making that initial contact with her. Maybe my subconscious doesn't want me to its hard to say really cause I feel like it'd be nice to have that part of my life back while at the same time why change the way things are. I know this post has been more questions than answers try looking at it from my perspective I'm all confused as what to do about this whole situation reconcile or leave it be. Only I can make the final decision on what ill do obviously but here's hoping I make the smart choice that requires know which one is right the heart or the brain. oh well we shall see......

Halo Golf? It May Just Happen

As an avid gamer I often find myself confused with my beloved industry, they often amaze me in the best ways but every now and then I find myself scratching my head in almost disbelief.
One trend that I feel need to be addressed is franchises that wont go away. You know what I am referring to a game character or series goes on way too long and I feel that shouldn't happen. My most recent mini outrage is with the halo universe. Didn't we already finish the fight? I understand trying to make money from an established franchise but when does it go too far? I love me some halo but I fear it will quickly become like Mario. You know he wont go away he has been in more games than I care to name some very good some just plain awful. It seems like Nintendo's flagship has way over stayed his welcome to me, and with all the recent Halo announcements I can see it wont go away I can see it now coming in 2011 Halo Party or maybe even Halo golf. I know it may seem far fetched to see those games come to fruition but the scary thing about casual games and things like that it may just happen. I honestly hope the Halo universe bows out graciously before their welcome is worn out and gamers get sick and tired of it.

Moving on and staying in the game frame of mind another head scratcher is the difficulty in games these days. I would consider myself an average gamer but I can beat almost any game on the market without too much difficulty or frustration. Yo would think that's a good thing right? wrong. where is the challenge? I remember in my youth playing games and basically getting my ass kicked because games back then were actually hard and required skill to play and master. Like megaman one of my favorites that game is all about timing, pattern recognizing, and all around patience. If you took the wrong power up you would have a hell of a time beating the boss of that stage. Nowadays game difficulty is hardly ever an issue except in a few games here and there i.e Ninja Gaiden. Do I want games to be super difficult almost break a controller difficult certainly not, but that doesn't mean I don't at least want to be challenged. How else are you supposed to get better if you don't have to try a little harder?

Things That Annoy Me As Of Late On The Idiot Box

So lately I have noticed a few things have really started to annoy me on tv. So lets take a journey shall we and lets discover what annoys Josh when it comes to the glowing box we all love.

First is MTV (Music Televison) at least thats what it used to be. If you turn it in on nowadays not only will not find music but nothing music related at all. The Channel that used to have atleast something to do with music is now reduced to a sad channel for drama with such oscar winning shows like Is She really Going Out With Him, where girls are going out with douchebags and it shows off the guys douchebaggery, thats what its about seriously. Another Classic is The X effect where couples are taken to a nice resort esque hotel only to find out their partner has to spend a night with their ex. Its basically a show made to tear people apart.I wont even go into all of their dating and reality shows cause there is way too much crap for me to try andhave enough words in my vast vocabulary to get out my frustration with them. They all lack originality and any sort of promise. Maybe if MTV changed its name this wouldn't bug me as much but the only music I have seen on that channel in a long time was when Michael jackson died they had a day or two of his videos but back to their "original" crap now. lets just call it what it is Drama Television just make it DTV and ill be ok with your silly attemp at dramatics.

Speaking of name changes whats with Sci-Fi switching to SyFy? I mean it not only looks odd but the reasoning itself is just plain silly according to sources the name change is supposed to be less geeky, since Sci-fihas always been associated with geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that. There was always a sneaking suspicion that the name Sci-Fi was holding them back. They also said it gives them a unique word and nets them opportunities to imbue it with the values and the perception that they want. nevertheless the change is here and were stuck with it. lets just hope it doesnt change again and become even stranger than it has already become.

Getting back to the music channel vibe another thing that is starting to annoy me is all the "love" shows on vh1.Flavor Of Love, Rock Of Love, I Love New York, Real Chance At Love, For The Love Of Ray J, Daisy Of Love, Megan Wants A Millionaire. Its like the list will go on forever It seems like whoever comes it second on these shows gets their own show its ridiculous. Like right now Daisy Of Love is apparently at its finale and I know whoever doesnt will is going to get his own show. I applaud them for trying but seriously if you haven't noticed that every time no one finds love, hell brett michaels has tried like 3 times and no love sad huh. I dont get why they keep making them is it a desperate plea for ratings? I dont know but I wish they would just stop helping the sad souls look for "love".

Sticking with the realm of TV whats up with out of sequence marathons? You know what I am referring to lets say your watching an NCIS marathon on USA and one episode has Gibbs in a coma and it says to be continued...and then the next episode is comepletely out of sequence wait Gibbs is fine ahh. I imagine it cant be too hard to keep them in some order so the episodes make an accurate timeline I mean come on.

Semi vs Hotel Dumpster and fence............A Fair Fight?

Title pretty much speaks for itself. last night a semi truck parked in the ajacent parking lot to my hotels brakes were not engaged, so when the driver went into the back of the cab to do something the truck began to roll. As the above pictures show it was not a fair fight.It basically destroyed the fence around our dumpster and the chain link fence behind it and took out a few trees. All this happened right before I showed up for my shift and I gotta say it made my night seemingly fly by. Thankfully no one was hurt in the collision just the hotels property which thanks to insurance should be easily fixable if albeit a hassel.

so short and sweet today

Josh Out!

To Catch A Predator: The Greatest Show Ever??

In a world with such horrible things Im glad to see one network take an awesome stand. I love Predator for well two reasons really;
1. The take pedophiles and freaks off the streets
2. I get to watch these pathetic guys and their just sad excuses, frankly its hilarious

I really dont see how these could be that stupid. I mean even after their caught all they seem to say is "i wasnt going to do anything, just talk" Tonight was one of my favorite episodes ever. They had a guy who walked into the Predator sting house lets call it, completely nude except for his dingy socks. It honestly makes me glad im not a kid anymore or have kids for that matter cause to see all different walks of life fall victim to this sting scares me a little. Maybe victim is the wrong word but you know what I mean. I have seen the deviants range from 20 something idiots to doctors and people who work in a school. I applaud Chris Hansen and the whole Predator team for doing this, who knows maybe the fear of the Hansen walk out stop them from going after kids on the web. I know it wont but we'll never know how many are afraid of that. If you have ever seen the show you know of its importance and awesomeness I for one am thankfull that the show is around and hope it keeps catching these bastards to keep our kids safe on the net.

for safety tips and other ways to help protect you and your family from this please visit the To Catch A Predator website for info and tips.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603


as always be safe and have fun
Josh Out!

KitKat Nope Not The Candy It's My Kitty

KitKat

I gotta say I love my kitty. She is a goober but still lovable, She is in many ways like me and the longer I have her the more I enjoy having the fur ball around. I remember when I got her its one of my better moments as a person, My friend Stephanie was moving out of her apartment and she couldn't keep KitKat and was dreading the fact that she was going to have to drop her off at the shelter since she could no longer care for her. So I decided i would take her to the shelter for her since she was almost in tears about it. she even wrote a note that I was supposed to give them about KitKat's likes,dislikes and so on. I don't know why it popped into my head but I just said why don't I just keep her? and when I said that she lit up like it was Christmas. See KitKat apparently didn't like anyone but when I went to visit Steph a few times KitKat seemed to like me. So I figured instead of a crap shoot like the shelter where she may not ever find a home I would give her one since she liked me. Its still one of my more proud moments and proves I do in fact have a soul. I have had the little monster for about 2 1/2 years now and she has gotten so good since I've had her. She in a way reminds me of a dog in a sense I say that because she has a few tendencies I have only seen in the canine counter parts. My examples of this are when I put my key in the door to my place she is usually at the door waiting for me all sweet like. Another is once I'm in she follows me around and meows for a good while like hey give me attention. I have started to say when she walks around meowing at me she's just telling me about her night. I have to look at her and say what could you possibly do at night? With that I thought about it and figured it would sound kind of like this...... Meow, Hi kitty how was your night? meow well it started off crazy there I was giving myself a bath and next thing you know i saw a spider! I know right so I got up and stared at him for a while before he crawled away. wow what else? meow well after the spider eluded me I was playing around in your laundry and got my head stuck in a sock! in a sock you say? meow yeah it was pretty scary for a while but I got out I'm good like that. wow cat sounds like you had an interesting night, meow you bet i did. Ok maybe that's a tad crazy but hey so is my cat and I love her since she is always there and makes me feel better when she comes up to me and purs and lays next to me. Generally whatever is wrong with me she can make it better just with her cuteness and that's my KitKat my furry companion.

Words So Simple But So Much Trouble Can Come From Them And Make You A Bastard

Bastard a funny word, its a word some would associate with me and they would be justified come with me as we venture into the mind of me for a bit and lets see what we discover........

Do you have a word you know how to spell but for some reason every now and then the spelling of the word comes up blank in your mind? for me for some odd reason receipt is the word my brain tends to forget why? lord knows but time and again receipt escapes me, I mean the word isn't even a hard word but no it gets lost in the vast mental highway know as my brain. Subject change! So I'm sitting here at work at what is it 3:34 am whilst listening to some Third Eye Blind wondering if I in fact have a semi charmed kind of life. I think introspectively I'd give my life up to this point a 7. Lets face it I'm a bastard in its most pure form I try not to be but years of people treating me like I'm insignificant and not worth while gets to you. Don't get me wrong I'm like maybe 60% bastard and 40% nice. Few see the internal anguish one goes through sure its easy to put on a smile and say a few silly things for laughs but when there are no people around an odd sense of anger fills me. I say its odd because I do it to myself I think things would be better for me if I would not stress over things that frustrate me i generally tend to freak out over the smallest thing and i think about it too much and the more I think about the madder it makes me which if i maybe thought about a solution instead of having a mini panic attack. To get back to the bastard part I say this because I am rude to people for no reason what so ever. The one example that's bugged me for a bit now is how I acted to a co-worker of mine named Cora. What she did was put her food in my box and I acted like an ass about it for no reason really, sure I don't really like other peoples stuff in my box it is a tad annoying but I acted out of turn, instead of asking whats this I acted like a jackass and I am sure made Cora dislike me a bit. According some I have a personality people either love or hate. I feel bad about the way I acted to Cora she didn't deserve that so I need to apologize to her one way or another because in case if I did in fact offend her which I didn't mean to but I probably did an apology would make me feel better about it an hopefully have her understand I didn't mean to act like an ass to her. I take things too far sometimes, I have noticed lately that the filter I have on my mouth has come undone. Words spill out like a flood often with no rhyme or reason when it pops into my head it comes out of the mouth. I need to reseal it because this mouth of mine has gotten me into trouble on a number of occasions, which is regrettable but still happens. The hard part about resealing the annoying box of mine is if I think about what I say I tend to stutter and mess up even the simplest sentence, so you see part good part bad fun huh. Oh well I think i have started to ramble so I shall leave it at that and maybe after I apologize to Cora about my asinine behavior it will bring my ratio back to a human level of like maybe 40% bastard and 60% nice apparently a human level is just a flipped level of how I felt earlier strange. but we'll see hopefully things work out fine cause being an ass isn't fun all the time.

Sands Of Time

Back then, when I got home from work, you were always there waiting for me and that was all I needed, just you. But on that day, when I came back home, the only thing there was that pocketwatch, that and a small piece of paper that had just one word written across it "farewell". For some reason I didn't feel sad or broken up, it just didnt seem real. But slowly I realized that it was real, that you were gone, and little by little I felt something inside of me go numb, after 6 months I made a kind of bet with myself a pledge, that I would leave this place and start a new life if you didnt return by the time the watch stopped. I didnt come here to blame you I, I just wanted to know why, why you disappeared like that?