I'll paint you wings and I'll set you free

So it's been a few days since I stopped drinking the devils nectar aka soda, I feel alright I am surprised that I have yet to get a concrete headache like I normally do when I stop drinking the stuff. I guess that's a good thing but I am not holding my breath for fear of cockiness might induce a headache out of spite, my body is messed up that way. I faltered in my start I admit, While I went to Sams Club I got chicken which was a good choice but then I did something foolish. I bought a tray of cookies to share with the staff at the hotel, when I brought them back only a few cookies were taken. Which left me with a ton of cookies, now I could have been and probably should have left them there, but I didn't I took them home with me. Mistake! I ended up eating most of the tray over the weekend, a cookie here and a cookie there, next thing I know it's almost gone. I am honestly a little pissed at myself for letting my self fall right after I got upset and decided to start a change. That being said I am happy I didn't have any soda, so it's some progress at least. One of the demons has been punched in the face sorry Pepsi demon I no longer need to be tempted.

Man I see in the mirror isn't right.....

So lately I have not felt like myself, sure personality wise I am still the wise cracking somewhat asinine self I have always been. Physically however I am incredibly unhappy, I have been for a while to be honest. I was ok with seeing my weight staying stationary but that's not good enough for me anymore. I don't know what finally snapped inside to get me to get well angry and want something else, but it's happened. I need to correct the problems I have with food and soda. I know what I am doing wrong in all aspects of my consumption but never really tried to rectify the issues. No longer will I gorge myself until I feel full or bloated, no more soda at all. I have the tools in place to overcome the things that are wrong I just don't know if I have the will power to do it. Take soda for example when I drink it, I don't feel super, I usually feel gross and uncomfortable. Instead of stopping and drinking healthier options I drink more soda thinking one more can't hurt and then that one turns into four. I can down a twelve pack in a weekend solo and that is not something I am proud of, I am ashamed of it. For years soda has been the worst thing I put into myself, sure I eat too much sometimes but given soda's high caloric count and the amount I would generally consume, it is the worst. Imaging if you will taking in your daily calorie count in soda alone and then add on top of that whatever you get from the food you eat and then you can see why it's bad. I have tried to stop drinking the devil's nectar before a number of times, but I have only really ever managed about a week before I puss out and get one. Which makes my first priority besides being more active, to cut out soda completely, cold turkey is a must. No waning off slowly because if I do that I will never stop, I need to remove it from me all together. If I can manage to remove it from my mind and the incidental headaches that come with withdrawal, I should have an easier time.

I know at this moment it's all talk or text as it were, but I want a change and enough is enough. I want to feel good and look good and not just be the fat guy. I want to be a better me and that all starts with me and I am going to do my best to accomplish that goal.

So if you are going to read this after this point it will follow a certain template to keep myself focused.
it will feature a few things to keep track of what I am doing.
It will include the following:

•  Weight (current as well as starting)
•  What I did physically 
•  Calorie Count (to get an idea of what I need to fix)
•  Feelings and thoughts 

As well as other things within that template I can keep track of things which will hopefully keep me goal oriented and focused on me being better.

That said slash typed I will do a simple one as a starter to get the ball rolling.

Date - 10/11/2012
Current Weight - 315 lbs (Trust me that's depressing)
Previous Weight - N/A
Workout - General walking around work, dancing around.
Calorie Count - 1 Coke - 140 Calories, Two Chicken sandwiches ?
Feelings - Down, but granted if I didn't feel like this at the moment I wouldn't start this so being down is ok for now.

Granted it will be somewhat more detailed when I put it all together with keeping a calorie count and workout log, but with that rough template I have a basis to go with. So look to the horizon with me as we start this journey to take my body under construction and make me a better Josh. See you on the other side.

Love and Rockets!
Josh Out